This brings us to our conclusion. How is everybody feeling now?

MAN: Great!

PATTI: Great? Excited? Tuned-in to each other? 

Just like with any sexual act or shared sexual experience as a couple, when you come to the conclusion and you decide that you don’t want to keep her going, nor do you want to stop him, because that’s the energy of female versus male, you’ve interwoven male and female – you’ve connected.

You’ve gone through your ritual to begin with, with your eye gaze, with setting the scene, with crystals and sacred objects and symbols all around and your music. You’ve allowed yourselves to make that eye to eye connection. 

You’ve learned how to breathe alone, to get inside your body. You’ve learned how to breathe together to synchronize. 

You’ve learned how to begin to connect energetically. You may want to start with the hands, facing each other, to connect; that may be your ritual for beginning. You may want to do an energy ball together, so that you begin to pulsate and feel the energy between you. 

You may want to do a whole Chakra meditation, where you’re sitting with your legs around each other, facing each other, upright, and you can hold or put your hands together. And you’re using that as a way of anchoring and coming together, with your mind, your emotion, your attitude, your spirit and your body. 

You’re connecting up, and if you choose to do a Chakra meditation, you’ll want to take the chart and learn the colors and remember some things that you may want to say at each of the seven levels. 

You may also want to explore with the different kinds of caressing. You’ll want to awaken your senses. You’ll want to play with all the different ways that you can connect with the lingam and the yoni and the spirit.

Make it a sacred journey, and make it as long as you want it to be, as deep and harmonious as you want it to be, and as joyful, blissful and ecstatic as you can get. That’s what it’s all about. 

I want to encourage you to you take it seriously as a sacred journey together.

This isn’t just something that you squeeze between the midnight and the one o’clock show on TV, or just before the kids wake up, or whatever it is. You need to make time for it. 

At the end of it, you also have what I like to call “afterglow.” Just as you have foreplay in a great sex act, you have afterplay – you snuggle and caress. 

Even more importantly, you bring this sense of a divine and sacred circle to its conclusion and completion. 

So you honor your partner and you say: “thank you.” “Thank you so much for sharing your being with me.” “This was divine, this was bliss for me – I love you so much.” “You are my beloved, you are my goddess, you are my god.” “You are my Shiva, you are my Shakti – I honor and worship you.” “I look forward to so many more years of celebrating this divine journey together.” “In spirit into flesh.”

So, I send you on your journey. 

In the spirit of Tantra, I’d like to bring us to a ritual conclusion where we all hold our hands now, together, and send energy to the center of this table. 

We say, “May this beautiful workshop energy that we’ve co-created be transmuted into something for the greater good for all of us.” 

May you take this with you as you practice what you’ve learned today.

May we send this into the world for greater love and greater healing and greater peace and may the Divine Masculine and Feminine ever interweave to the greatest good that they can manifest in each and every one of us and among us all as the sacred circle we’ve created today.

It’s been my honor to be here as your guide, and I welcome you to many, many more of these workshops. So, in the spirit of closing the circle, I thank all the Divine Forces that were with us today, and I blow out the light of our Shiva and Shakti for many, many more…

TOGETHER: And so it is…

There’s a tradition, and I like to think of it as Modern Tantra, because I think we’re living in the 21st Century, with new devices and gorgeous and incredible things that are around for us to play with as Tantric sexual creatures, and being on that journey means that we can bring in other toys and other sacred objects.

There are amazing glass lingams, or glass dildos that don’t necessarily look like a lingam, that can be used to create intense yoni pleasure. 

They’re pleasure-full, because they’re such beautiful objects, that whoever is pleasuring her can derive pleasure from seeing her so pleased and feeling the beauty of this wand that’s made of glass with all kinds of beautiful and gorgeous things woven and blown inside it.

Also sometimes it’s fun to play with beads and other things that can go inside the yoni and then be pulled out for other kinds of sensations, so anything that can awaken and pleasure the lingam and the yoni is part of great Tantric sex. 

Then, how we sustain orgasm in women is about focusing on the Pearl. Now remember: the pearl is the sacred spot on the yoni, the clitoris. So the Pearl is where she can receive constant or continual, or intermittent touch to sustain her orgasm to “forever.” Even if she’s had an orgasm, direct or indirect Pearl touch is how women keep “rounding” and keep having more and more orgasms.

Tantric sex is not linear, it’s undulating, it’s riding a wave and a curve, and there will be times when you go up on that wave and come back to the shore, ride another wave and come back to the shore, and there will be times where there is stillness and nothing is happening, but if you can connect with your energy exchange there’s always something happening.

Then, for him. Lots of time men are not aware how they can keep from having their orgasm and their ejaculatory release. For men it is a two-phased release. Orgasm in men begins as the discharge in blood flow and engorgement and energy. The second phase is ejaculation: the emission of the bodily fluids. 

Many men who practice Tantric Sexuality are very skilled and masterful at orgasming and orgasming, and holding back ejaculation. 

The technique that I want to reinforce for you, is the technique of your partner pushing where you, the male, feel that you’re on the edge and maybe you can’t hold back – ask your beloved to put her finger on your perineum – which is that ridge between the anal opening and the testicles that feels like a nose. By pressing there you are activating nerves that stop the urge to ejaculate, so pressing on the perineum is a technique that’s ancient for stopping the ejaculation.

There’s another sacred and ancient technique. It’s esoteric, so bear with me here. He can actually curl the tongue and place it on the roof of the mouth. 

You can also use your own finger to touch your perineum, and by doing both at the same time, it is said in Tantric teaching that, 

energetically, both the lock here and the lock here stop that urge and allow you to go and go and go! 

Tantric sexuality can last for hours or for days! So you can get a sense that it’s a very different way of connecting through the body through what I call: the Spirit into Flesh. A closing ritual is the perfect way to seal your bond of intimate connection. Use candles, flowers, personally objects – whatever is meaningful for you to create a space of love.

Here’s another level, because this kind of goes in levels of increased sexual intimacy, as you’re probably beginning to sense by the next one. And that’s Intimate, or lingam and yoni massage. This is about caressing and playing and massaging, pleasuring with our hands, because that’s what Intimate Massage means. We use our hands to open up the ecstasy of the yoni or the lingam. We’re involved in something that is clearly sexual, so the Second Chakra is involved, but it may be other Chakras as well. 

We may be wanting to see the divine in that act, and so maybe we’re coming from our Third Eye, seeing into her soul as you’re pleasuring her yoni. Do you get this? How the Chakras are now weaving in and out of all this?

MAN: We can synchronize our breathing at the same time…

WOMAN: I’d like to show you how much I cherish your lingam.

MAN: Yes? 

WOMAN: And my devotion to you…

WOMAN: Your lingam and your love is sacred to me.

WOMAN: It feels good to pass my energy to you through my hands.

MAN: I can feel it.

WOMAN: Can you feel how much I love you?

PATTI: Maybe we then move on to Oral Massage, or lingam massage or yoni massage with the mouth or the tongue. You could even experiment with things like bringing the breath into it, like blowing on the yoni, to add different sensations. 

Often, it’s called “Playing the Flute” in Tantric positions, and of course it’s easy to see the flute in this object. It’s maybe not so easy to see it in the yoni, but it’s the idea of sending sacred music through your oral caressing of your sacred beloved’s male or 

female manifestation.

Moving up that scale, another Tantric act is to use the lingam as a massage wand. Maybe you practice with a slow entry. Sending all the energy from your Chakras in through the lingam into her. Literally using it as a missile or a vehicle for collecting the energies of all seven Chakras and sending it through slowly, entering her with all of you, energetically, that’s powerful sex! 

In Tantra, it’s so different from traditional ways of thinking about sex, because you can even use a flaccid penis, or lingam that isn’t hard, or erect, and stuff it inside and feel the energy of it. It’s not about the object; the object is the container for the energy – it’s very different, conceptually. 

Some of the time, there may be stillness. Remember I’ve talked a lot about quiet and stillness. Maybe the lingam is inside the yoni and there’s no movement. That’s the perfect time to feel all the energies moving. When you’ve become aroused and connected, and the lingam is inside the yoni and you’re not moving, guess what is moving: energy. 

That’s when you get to the center of what Tantric Sex is all about. 

Finally, using the lingam as a sacred wand, there’s a wonderful Tantric act or motion… called the Rocking Horse, and, for those of you who have played with the G-Spot, or the Goddess Region, when you use a rocking horse motion with your lingam inside of her yoni, what’s happening is that you’re actually stimulating the G-Spot. So that rocking horse motion can create waves of ecstasy in her. 

We said earlier, and we’ll reiterate, that in Tantric Sexuality, the man does what he can to sustain not having his orgasm, to sustain his lingam in motion and not coming. It’s an ecstatic edge to live on, and you can even take that out of the bedroom and live on that edge all the time. 

Last but not least, you, as the sacred beloved Lady Shakti, can use your hand on his lingam while he is using it inside of you as a wand, or just helping him know how much you cherish and worship the lingam by keeping your hand connected. 

So this is a different way of looking at what we would think of as typical sexual behaviors. Very different. 

First: Sensual Body Caress. 

Do you have any idea what caress might mean? 

It’s not a massage – what do you think caress means?

WOMAN: Barely touching…

PATTI: Barely touching… softly…delicately – it’s light. Maybe you’re sending an intention of love, or connectivity or playfulness to your partner. 

Maybe what you’re doing is looking at their face, as your Sacred Beloved’s face and you’re giving a caress on their face, or maybe her torso, maybe her back and then around to her front. Just caressing, and letting her know through your touch, through your Sensual Caress how much you love her. 

Then, another idea is Massage – Sensual Massage. We’ve talked about opening up all five senses, and now we get to apply that in terms of touch. And how do we do that? Well, maybe we do that through a massage of the hands or the feet. Maybe we just go to the shoulders and knead in there, or the buttocks, and just push and get the tension out, or use that as an erotic signal: “how much I adore you.” 

That we just send energy from there through our hands that’s about opening up the buttocks, because maybe he’s lying down and you’re just in there. And now you’re sending that energy from your Second Chakra to his Second Chakra.

WOMAN: Let’s send the energy all the way through you…

MAN: Mmm… I feel it.

MAN: It’s very relaxing, very peaceful…

WOMAN: I like how this oil feels on your skin, it’s kind of cool.

WOMAN: It’s really soft.

MAN: Now I really feel the energy. I feel it tingle all over.

MAN: Now it’s my turn to give you massage…

MAN: And let you feel some of my energy. 

WOMAN: Sounds fine to me!

MAN: I honor that goddess in you.

WOMAN: This feels really nice!

MAN: Warming up? 

WOMAN: Yes…

MAN: Are you feeling the energy from me? 

WOMAN: Yes…

WOMAN: Your hands are nice and warm, it feels good.

WOMAN: Oh my god, that feels so good.

WOMAN: You need to keep doing that for a long time!

MAN: I will.

MAN: I want to connect your Sexual and your Heart Chakra.

MAN: Can you feel that? 

WOMAN: Yes.

MAN: You feel the energy? 

WOMAN: That’s good…

PATTI:  Maybe you take it out into nature, or out to the pool, or out to a Jacuzzi, and use it as part of your sensual expression. You feel the water and it opens you up, and all your Chakras are open! You delight in being in warm water or bubbles together, and you’re just sending that energy from whatever Chakra zones you want. 

I’m going to teach you one more thing before we get to the breathing. I promise you we’re going to get right to the breathing, but that is about the Chakras and honoring the love between you. 

So, just quickly, I want you to turn to each other… and look in each other’s eyes. Left Eye Gaze, synchronize your breathing – you’re going to get good at this fast – and I want you to place your right hand over your partner’s heart. And send energy from your Heart Chakras to each other, just to anchor in that new learning and that new knowing. Use your hand to send the love into the heart of your partner and feel it flowing in, and feel it flowing out.

I teach most of my clients how to breathe, and the reason is, in order to enter into a sexual experience, we have to come home into the body. And it’s a key part of Tantra, so I’m going to teach you a way of using your mind and your breath to imagine creating an egg around your body. 

So you may want to turn away from your partner and sit with your feet on the ground or on the floor, and your hands can go on your lap. And I want you to close your eyes and imagine drawing your breath up your back from the base of the spine, up all those Chakras to the top of the head. And then let it tumble down the front of your being. From your forehead, your face, your throat, your heart, your Hara, Sexual Chakra, Root Chakra, down to your toes. 

Inhale all the way up your legs to the top of the head. Hold it for a breath, and then exhale all the way down the front of your body, and then imagine a waterfall of light or a gentle water caressing you as you do it. And just practice that for several breaths.

Feel the cocoon, or the egg of breath, that you’re creating for your body. 

Breathing that “Egg Breath,” as I call it, making an egg or a cocoon around your body is one of the ways of getting in tune with your own energies. 

Now here is the Fire Breath, and this is a breath that’s taught as part of some Tantric traditions, and we’re firing up the Chakras down there, okay? So the idea is, exhale, stick out your belly, this part right here. Everybody think that they have it? Let’s try it one more time as a group by closing our eyes. And on the inhale we’re going to push out the abdomen and on the exhale, pull in. Okay, ready?

How do you feel? I feel so energized and clear, my mind feels clear. Did that help clear anything energetically in you? It’s an awakening breath, the other breath is about quieting down and focusing; this is about energizing and waking up. 

So you’re going to get to play with those in practice sessions where you can practice the Fire Breathing or the Egg Breathing and see where that brings you as a couple. I’m going to give you some suggestions for different ways that you can play with your bodies together and focus in on an aspect of using the body temple as a way of integrating everything that we’ve learned so far on this journey together and really having some fun!

Now, we get to add the body. So how many of you know about the Chakras? How many of you have experienced them? Yes, all of you, right? And Chakra is a word for energy center. And in the human body, there are seven energy centers. The first one is the root, or the base. That’s Chakra One and it’s the base of the spine. The coccyx, the end of the spinal column. It’s right here – and it’s primal, it’s survival. And it’s where a lot of the “Uh, uh, uh” music comes from. It’s very primal in a way that’s hard, it’s hard-driving.

Then it moves up to number two. And guess what number two happens to be? The Sexual Chakra. The second Chakra is about creativity, it’s about our sexuality. It’s about birthing, It’s about compassion. It’s a very powerful center and it’s the energy center. If we looked at slicing the body into seven pieces, like if a saw came like this and sliced me up energetically that second area is where the sexual energy runs the hottest.

The third is the source of our power: the Hara. You think of the navel and a little energy belt around that. That’s the Hara, that’s the sense of our power. Interestingly enough, in martial arts, you shoot from here. This is your core, this is your center. All the energy comes from here; this is where you get centered and balanced. But Tantra is not like that. But this is a center that we have to master.

The fourth Chakra is the Heart. So the heart is such an important center for love. And for compassion as well. And acceptance. The fifth is the throat. And this is the center for expression. Just as you would think, you know; this is what allows me to talk. This is what allows me to create, even though there is another aspect of creating in One and Two.

But this is where the will is in some Tantric traditions.

And then Six is…what is that? 

MAN: Third eye…

PATTI: Third eye. Exactly. This is like the psychic connector, isn’t it? This is all-seeing: “I see through to…” This is a center of real vision, real knowing.

The last is called the Crown Chakra. It’s the crown of the head. It’s the highest level and it’s the connection to the Divine, to the Universe, to Spirit itself.

When we know that we each have seven energy centers in our bodies, and that surrounds our bodies, they’re not just contained in our skin, they’re around us. We can begin to move energy there or we can send it there consciously with our mind.

The color of Chakra One is red, so you can imagine a red band of light to activate that. You can take your mind and you can pour red light into this part of you to activate or energize that Chakra. When you’re with your sweetie, you may say something like: “I feel safe with you,” because it’s the site of security and survival.

Moving to the Sexual Chakra – it is orange. So we can imagine an orange light, and send it to activate that second Chakra of Sexuality. You may say something like: “I feel desire for you.”

As we move up to the next Chakra, which is here at the navel, the solar plexus. This is about action as well – it’s not just power, but action. You could say something like: “I feel strong with you,” because this is where our strength lives.

Then as we move up to the heart, can you imagine what you might say at the heart? “I love you,” it’s so obvious: “I love you so much.” And the color for the heart is green. So imagine sending beautiful emerald light to this part of your body to activate that. Or when you’re not feeling love for your partner, bring that green light into that Chakra.

The throat is a color blue. So imagine a bright blue that is just a band across your throat. That might say something like: “I want you.”

Moving up to the highest levels, when we get to the forehead, the color is purple, that’s a very spiritual color. So imagine a band of purple right over the Third Eye. And to me, I think that something like: “I see your soul,” is so appropriate, because this is where we see through to the essence of our partner.

Finally, at the Crown Chakra, we either have an indigo violet, or a pure white light, because white light is the divine color. It’s the light shining through the lingam. And we might say: “I connect with the Divine in you.”

This is a Vulva Puppet. This is another way of seeing the Divine Yoni. Isn’t she beautiful? And if you look carefully, these are her inner lips, these are her outer lips, this is the hood and this is her Pearl, remember we talked about that? 

In here is the Goddess Spot, which you can actually feel. Remember we talked about if you were to pleasure her Goddess Spot, or her G-Spot, you might be able to provoke her into producing Amrita, which is the Divine Female fluids.  How many of you love to hear nature sounds?

EVERYONE: Yes… 

PATTI: Yes, for me, that awakens me. Nature, or even beautiful sitar music if you want to get into the Indian theme, or romantic music or whatever turns you on, because you may get turned on by Punk, you may get turned on by Electronica, and that’s fine. Whatever it is that awakens your sense of hearing is part of the journey and the dance. 

The sense of smell. Now the sense of smell, they say, is the most ancient of our senses. And we have the capacity, when a scent comes our way, to evoke a memory from the past that stays with us for days sometimes. And so there may be research to show that the scent of pumpkin pie spice is an aphrodisiac for men… go figure! 

MAN: I believe it! 

PATTI: That’s because, for a lot of guys, I’m imagining, when you were a boy, there was probably a time when someone you loved using that spice, and it made you feel all warm inside and glow-y and loved. And all that good stuff! And so there’s that “Ah, yes, I love that…. I love that!” Right? 

For example, the scent of rose is the highest vibration of all flowers and plants on earth, so an essence of rose oil would not only be a beautiful scent in the room, but it would also evoke feelings of romance. 

It would also open up this energy center, which is the Chakra of the Heart, and actually awaken the sense of love, the feelings of love – just by having aroma therapy rose oil in the room. And even taste, which is so connected to smell – you know, we can’t taste if we can’t smell – so the nose and the mouth are integrally related. 

When we taste, the scent is actually becoming a flavor, and we can play with food with our beloved. We can indulge in chocolate, or in strawberries, or in kiwi fruit; that’s sensuous or divine itself.

We can use touch for a sensual massage or a caress, or all kinds of things that evoke the sense of touch as one of our senses, because the largest sex organ in the human body is what? Skin! Our skin. And our skin is where we get evoked and awakened, in our sensations on the outside.

Having all the senses awakened is part of the journey of Tantra. Later, you’re going to get to play with how to awaken each of your senses, and what are some ways that bring you more deeply into the Tantric journey and experience through sensual awakening. 

Do you remember when we were talking about making the body a Body Temple, and sacred, and honoring it, and when we talk about touch, we also talk about making the body a fun object for adornment. So some of the toys you’re going to get to play with include these wonderful little gems…called “Nipple Huggers.” They go around the nipple. They don’t hurt. And this one, which is so fun, is like a little nipple necklace.

So these hooks, again they’re real gentle, you slide them down and open them up, they’re a little noose, then you tighten them. And the thing about nipples is that they have a direct connection with clitoral stimulation in terms of nerve conduction, so for women it’s a real pleasure center.

Here’s a fun way of taking these pots of safe, water-soluble paints and actually adorning your beloved. Isn’t that a fun way to worship your sweetheart? And the other thing about Tantra that is so profound is, just as we were talking about sight, the eyes, in Tantra, we spend a lot of time gazing at our beloved. We connect, eye to eye, because the eyes are often referred to as the “windows” to the… what? “Soul…” exactly. 

So by connecting to our beloved, eye to eye gaze: left eye to left eye, we actually set up a connection, energetically, for bonding. 

The other hallmark of Tantra as a sexual path is breathing. And I’d like us to try a little bit of that, like we did the energy exchange, so that you feel anchored and centered and confident about how you can learn to synchronize your breathing together.

So I want you to face your partner. What you’re going to do, is that you’re going to breathe naturally. So, the minute I tell you to 

focus on your breath, you’re going to start breathing differently. And you’re going to get nervous, and you’re going to say “oh my god, I’m not breathing my normal way.” 

Just relax into it, take a few deep breaths to get centered if you need to. And the idea is to get in touch with your own breathing pattern. And then, focus on the breathing pattern of your beloved. And synchronize with that. Feel him or her inhaling and exhaling. Maybe you want to cozy in and listen if you can’t feel or hear the breath. And try that eye gaze, left eye to left eye, at the same time, honoring your partner, connecting, and linking up breath.

Prahna is breath. It is the energy of life, it’s your life-force. That you breathe in with each inhalation, and exhale into the universe. It’s what keeps you alive, and you’re sharing that in synchrony, with your beloved. Do you feel that? Great. 

So I’m noticing that everyone seems to have hooked up. Hello everyone? You may come back. You see, it’s already working you’re already on the path. You’re learning about your mindset, your attitudes, your emotions are opening up. You’re learning about eye gazing and ritual and connective breathing and synchronizing breathing – you’re already doing Tantra. 

I’d like you all to face your partner as much as you can, and I’d like you to put your hands in front of your partner. And I’d like you to touch, and then, once you feel your partner’s skin, I want you to concentrate on sending and receiving energy, hand-to-hand, and feel that energy back and forth. 

Then I want you to pull your hands apart about four inches, until you don’t feel the electricity anymore, and feel it running without touching. Is it magnetic? Is it heat? What are you feeling?

WOMAN: It feels magnetic.

PATTI: Anyone else? What are you feeling?

MAN: I feel kind of a breeze going on… 

PATTI: A breeze!

WOMAN: Almost a warmth. 

PATTI: A warmth! So good! Everyone is feeling something. You know that is so special to me as your guide today, because it shows me how attuned you all are to each other, and that shows me that when you get to practice what you’re learning today, you’re going to have a wonderful time!

So I want you to play with one other idea and that is – pull back from your partner.

I want each of you to put your hands together to form what we call an Energy Ball. And I can feel my energy here. This is how big my energy ball is from my own hands. So each of us has our own zone within ourselves. I want you to feel that. For me it feels like heat, and there’s actually almost a real ball there, made of air or water. Can you feel that? That’s what you’re putting out just here! 

You’re not even aroused sexually, imagine when that starts cooking! When that awakens, your energy is going to get huge, so this is the beginning of connecting with your energy. And then, try to pass that ball to your partner and see if you can feel that. So play with your energy right now, with your two hands passing the ball. See if you can connect with that!

MAN: Where’d my ball go? 

WOMAN: Did it leave?

PATTI: Put your balls away now! 

WOMAN: Aw, we were having so much fun!

PATTI: It is fun isn’t it? 

MAN: We just can’t resist.

PATTI: See, that’s the feeling. It’s a feeling of divine play – of playfulness. And if you can see your partner as god and goddess, can you do that? Can you look at each other and see each other as the Divine? 

As the Divine Beloved, and sharing this sacred energy that’s you, that’s the special-ness of it. This energy is me – all me, and when I share it with you, we merge and blend into a new “energy being.” That’s exciting! And imagine taking that into the bedroom.

Tantra sexuality is slow. It’s different; it’s not quick, heavy breathing. It’s long, relaxed breath. And it’s riding those waves, because you’re going to feel waves and currents, just like you did in the energy exchange, or the energy ball. 

It’s quiet, isn’t it? It’s slow, it’s soft, it doesn’t have sharp edges. There’s not a rapid feeling inside it. 

That’s how your sexuality is going to start moving. It’s going to be slow. There are going to be moments of stillness where you don’t do anything except send and receive energy. 

That’s very different from what we normally think of as “having sex.” We think of moving and doing things instead of creating the connection and letting the energy take us. Emotions… what do you think is going to happen to you emotionally?

WOMAN: Wow, it’s a sense of moving into a deeper place… even ecstasy… that maybe you haven’t even fully experienced up to this point.

PATTI: Beautiful, beautiful. Are any emotions coming up now for anybody?

WOMAN: For me, just a sense of incredible peace…

WOMAN: Especially as you were talking about the waves… It’s very peaceful…

PATTI: Yes it is very peaceful!

WOMAN: Love… 

PATTI: Love… Yes. There’s a lot of love flowing in the room already. Our hearts are opening as we enter into this new way of thinking and feeling and being, and it’s not necessarily erotic love – you know there are various kinds of love. 

There’s agapé love, which is an unconditional love for everything and everyone. 

There’s erotic love, which is the love from Eros, which is a sexual, desirous kind of love. 

And then there is divine love, and that love has no body. 

Our mind can be used to free the body and the spirit, and that’s part of the Tantric path – using our mind and our attitudes and opening our emotions and allowing ourselves to be on that pathway to open fully to each other. 

I’m going to just dance around the senses, so that when we talk about the senses here, you, when you go back to do your home assignments, can play with your senses in evoking and awakening them, so that you get the energy running through the senses. 

So, when we think of the senses, we think of the eyes first. For example, look at the beauty of this lingam. And look how the light dances and plays on it. That’s a visual, isn’t it? That’s exciting, that’s awakening, through our eyes. There may be things that we see in our environment that are things of beauty, or divine symbols, for example that awaken us through sight.

Everything in Tantra is about energy. We live in a body that is filled with energy, and when we connect with a partner, we’re connecting energetically. And so, learning about Tantra is learning about our own bodies as vessels or containers of energy, and how to share that energy with your partner without getting mixed up or clouded by the physicality of it. 

Sometimes we get caught up in sex as the mechanics of it, and the anatomical parts have to fit just so. And “am I doing this right?” “Am I doing this long enough?” or “Is she…?” All of those questions that we get trapped into in the body realm somehow dissolve in the Tantric experience.

But we’re focusing not so much on the body itself, but on the body as a vehicle for expressing your energies. Tantra uses two specific terms that I’m going to illustrate by showing you two sacred representations of them. 

The first one is called “Lingam” in Sanskrit and this is from the ancient Indian tradition. This is a sacred object; this is a personally sacred object of mine. This lingam will be here with us throughout our journey and our workshop to send that Male energy out in pure, clear light waves. The other one we call the “Yoni.” And it even has a beautiful clitoris, because as women we know that the center of our sexual universe is called the “Pearl.” And so the Yoni will be here as a sacred object to help guide us, to bring in that Divine Feminine energy. 

Sometimes when we talk about words or terms in Sanskrit that relate to Tantra, we talk about the Lord Shiva, coming through the lingam or the Male energy, and we talk about the Divine Shakti as the Feminine principle and the Female energies. And so, maybe, when you get to practice later on, you can even call each other Lord Shiva, Lady Shakti. Whatever you feel like, if that makes you feel more connected to the essence of this teaching. 

There are other words that I want to share with you, because it relates to some of the principles and the philosophy of Tantra as well. 

Some of you may know that the inside first third of the vagina toward the top of the body is the G-Spot or the G-Region, and by putting a lot of pressure in a “come-hither” motion with your fingers, or by using a sacred wand, or any kind of way even with the penis, the lingam itself, in a “rocking horse” motion, you can 

activate the G-Spot, or the “Goddess Region.” By doing that, some women actually do emit fluids, and sometimes we call that “female ejaculation…” In this tradition, we call it “Amrita.” 

Amrita is regarded in the Tantric journey as sacred fluid and the Amrita can be consumed by the partner – drunk, as “Nectar of the Divine,” and that nectar, that juice, is purported to be rejuvenating and to reverse the effects of aging. Other terms that might be important for you to be aware of: we referred to it earlier in that there is a very important aspect of our attitude, and that is to create a sacred temple, a sacred space. 

In this setting in our workshop, we’ve created a sacred space, where we’ve lit sacred candles with objects that represent the Divine. We have flowers that are a way of adornment and decorating from Nature. We have beautiful things around that evoke that sense of awakening and bringing that Divine energy forth. 

Our own body is a sacred temple, so that attitude is part of what allows us to go on a Tantric journey and to change the way we vibrate ourselves about our own body. We have to get into a mindset that opens us up for quieting down.

Tantra is a quieter pathway to sex than some other forms of sexual expression, and, for some people, Tantra is a way of life, it’s not just a sexual exchange.

It’s a way of being, 24/7, and as I’ve said before, Tantra does not necessarily have to be about sex, it can be done with your clothes on. You could be having a Tantric experience right now, holding hands, uniting, even though you’re not facing each other, if you did I’ll bet your energies would be merging, and I sense that you’d be connecting on many levels, particularly at the heart level, because there’s so much love in this room today, and the more we open that up, the more love we’re all going to feel. It’s magical, isn’t it? 

So the mind is the gateway. We begin by setting our intention of what we wish to accomplish together. And it’s not about having a lasting orgasm, or a deeper, more intense orgasm; it’s about unity; it’s about “where do we want to go with this?” And maybe it’s about healing the world. Maybe it’s about world peace, maybe it’s about being greater, more loving parents. 

Through this Tantric sexual experience – it can be anything. And so the mind is a key component to how we ready and open ourselves to the Tantric journey. 

It also is the place where meditation takes place, and just as in the beginning of our journey together, we set a ritual tone, we could have closed our eyes, and focused inward, and followed our breaths, and we would have been in a quiet, silent place that would have been meditative. And I encourage all of you to bring more of that into your daily practices. Meditation, sitting quietly, sitting still.

“Still” – that key word is part of how you open yourself up for this divine pathway, and more bliss in everything – I promise you. You can use your mind as well to focus on something that evokes the sacred, so for example, maybe you have a wedding photo next to your bed, and at night, before you crawl into bed together, you take the time to meditate together, to do a ritual, and you look at that photo and you say: “I remember how much we love each other,” because there is that symbol.

The mind-body connection is always available to us. Sometimes we forget that we have that, but everything is related to the mind-body connection as humans. And so, the more that we can unite our awareness, our consciousness, our perception with our physical experience in a body, the deeper and richer our human experience becomes. 

So I want us to all experience how to use our minds to understand and connect with our bodies on the inside and begin to understand about Tantra as energy.

Dr. Patti Britton is a former President of AASECT (American 

Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists), a Certified Sexuality Educator, a Clinical Sexologist and a Sex Coach helping thousands of couples enhance sexuality through her books, workshops, DVDs and website drpattibritton.com. 

The following text is taken from a workshop held by Dr. Patti with three couples interested in bringing Tantra into their lovemaking.

PATTI: Welcome everybody, I‘m so honored and so pleased to see you all here today… And welcome to: Modern Tantra, an Erotic Workshop for Couples. Is everybody ready to move into a dimension with me that is going to take us on a journey together? It is meditative, spiritual, emotional, physical. It may even be transformational. We’re going to approach it from the same way that I’m going to teach you how to approach Tantra itself. So we’re going to begin, just the way I hope you’ll begin when you, yourselves have a Tantric act. 

I’d like to begin it with a meditation and a ritual, because ceremony, because ritual, because our attitudes, our emotions, where our mind is, and even our spirit itself, need to get activated and put into alignment. So I’d like to invite us all to become quiet inside. Stillness is such a part of the Tantric journey. And it’s a part of the journey we’re all about to take today.

I’d like to focus on the symbols of Male and Female. We have a candle of the Male, and a candle of the Female, and what I’d like to do is begin this journey together by awakening the flame of Male and Female. In awakening the Male and Female in these candles, may we all awaken the Divine Male and the Divine Female that lives within each of us, and may this journey we’re about to take together allow us to connect with that Divine Force.

Because Tantra is so much about the uniting of the Male and the Female energies, and it’s so much about intertwining within ourselves, and between us and our partner – that inner Male and Female, and the universe’s Male and Female principles. And on this journey, I ask that we’re all guided to be from our highest selves, that we open our mind, our emotions, our bodies, our senses and our spirit, for this ecstatic, blissful journey we’re all about to take. 

Tantra does not necessarily have to be sexual. It’s a path of understanding about energy. And we’re going to be learning about how you discover, within yourself and your body, the sacred temple of containing energy, how you can harness and access the energies that live within your own body and work with those energies. Move those energies up to higher and higher levels of vibration and 

actually transmit that energy and share it with your beloved partner.

Tantra is actually over 5000 years old! It wouldn’t exist today if it didn’t work, so there’s something very precious and ancient about this teaching, and there’s something that we need to honor, which is that it comes from India; It comes from Nepal; it comes from Tibet, and it was only about a decade ago that we in the United States even learned about Tantra. 

But one thing that’s so important to focus on is that there is no one right way to do Tantra, so how do we bring in some of that ancient feeling? That’s why ritual is so important. That’s why lighting candles that emanate Male and Female as the Divine Male and the Divine Female and learning how to access, harness and merge those energies is what we’re all about today. 

It’s the merging that makes Tantra such an ecstatic pathway, a pathway of healing for some people, a pathway of connecting with your partner, a pathway of harmonizing, of union, of joy, of bliss… of love.