Let’s explore another key part of the Modern Kama Sutra: Pleasuring Her First. We move from the sensual to the erotic, and one of the best ways of doing that is to start at the top. By that I mean start at the top of her body.
Think about giving her a head and a face massage. Some people enjoy having their face caressed. It can be very sweet when your partner reaches over and gently strokes your cheek, or takes your face in his hands when you’re kissing. It’s like saying, “I see you and I love you.”
Someone touching your skin can be a calming sensation. The way your parents touched you when you were a baby calmed you and made you feel loved. It can be the same thing with your partner.
Our faces are a vulnerable part of our bodies. We don’t allow just anyone to touch us there, and most people wouldn’t even attempt to touch someone’s face without implicit permission. Women have probably experienced having their faces touched more than men have, although now many men go to salons or for massages, where they would experience it also.
Having someone get in there and massage the scalp is a unique sensation, and it can be wonderful to use that as the beginning of your process of ritual.
Caressing and massaging the head and face is one of the keys to the gateway to love.
We often hold tension in the head or the scalp, so the whole idea of opening her up starts with relaxation there. And remember, we’re focusing on her now. The men will have their turn later, but first we’re pleasuring and pleasing the woman.
So we begin with the scalp. Use your fingers to burrow through her hair for a gentle, soothing scalp massage. Don’t use oil or lotion because getting her hair oily or greasy is not the goal. The idea is to create relaxation and to honor your partner. The head and face caress is a beautiful way of beginning this relaxation because it gives both of you a chance to quiet down.
She can lay her head on your lap, or lie down on the bed, or even sit in a chair. You start at the top of the forehead and go all around the face, avoiding the eyes. Gently caress around the bones of the face, never pressing on them, and experiment with different strokes, whether it’s gently rubbing, or kneading a little bit to cre- ate more relaxation. Caress with such a loving intention that you’re literally using your fingers and hands to send your love and your honor into your partner’s face.
It can be amazing when you use just your touch, and without speaking, connect with your partner in a way that is the essence of the Kama Sutra teachings. In such a way we evoke a sense of unity and a sense of harmony with our partner.
Incorporate the “Tingler” head massager we talked about or a simi- lar device to gently massage pressure points and sensitive nerve endings on the head. The “fingers” of these therapeutic devices stimulate acupressure points on the scalp and neck and can have exceptional healing properties, eliminating stress and tension. For some people, this kind of scalp massage can even make a head- ache disappear.
Don’t forget the temples. A gentle loving stroke around the temples in one direction and then the other can be the most relaxing part of a head massage. It will bring an especially soothing pleasure to your partner.