A “Body Caress” is a wonderful way of moving forward in your preparation for the ecstasy that awaits you. A body caress is like a full-body massage, but it’s not really a massage. I make a distinction between caressing and massaging. Massaging is more heavy- duty.
Massaging is like, “Oh honey, you’ve had such a hard day. Let me relax you.” Or, “Oh, this hurts, could you rub me right here.” Massage has that feeling about it of being therapeutic.
Caressing is lighter. A full-body caress is a way of connecting with your partner’s whole body, and of sending a signal to your partner that says, “I want all of you.” There’s something almost magical about taking the time to consciously apply your hand across your partner’s whole body.
Right now our focus is on the woman, so the man needs to learn how to approach her whole body. After you’ve done the face and head caress, you’re going to move down. And when you start mov- ing down the body, if you choose to go from the head to the feet, you’re going to get into some touchy zones here. So be aware of that, because arousal can happen very quickly. For some women, just having their breast area touched is a key to arousal.
Remember, the idea of the Kama Sutra teaching is not about orgasm. It is about arousing the woman so she’s ready for sexual intercourse. The whole idea is to arouse her… to prepare the way for her maximum arousal so that she’s completely ready when sex- ual union takes place.
Full-body caress might involve long strokes – strokes using oil or powder that let you elongate all the way down her body. You might want to flip her onto her front, face down, as a beginning and then get into those shoulders as a way of doing a full-body caress.
Relaxing her is one of the purposes of the body caress. Part of the preparation is to get her as relaxed as humanly possible. Because here’s a secret everyone needs to know: Great sex happens in a relaxed body. Not a tired body, not a tense body, not a worried or an anxious body. A relaxed body. And some of that relaxation comes from breathing – our own self-control of our breathing – and some comes from things like a full-body caress.
So start at the shoulders and work your way down the back. Stroke around the back with tender and gentle caresses, or reach across her to the side and gently caress back to the other side. Experiment with different positions to determine where to sit for the best access to different parts of her body. Give her every kind of stroke you can think of.
Use light feathery touches, but not too ticklish if your partner is the ticklish kind. Use a stroke that sends the signal, “I care about you… I honor you… I love you… I want to please you… I want to give to you.”
The woman should be in a receiving mode and the man in a giving mode. You probably already know this, but there’s some- thing fantastic that happens when you really, purely give, such as giving a stroke along her back, or her thighs, or from the top of her legs down to the feet – don’t ever forget the feet.
When you’re in full presence of giving you’re getting something back. That idea of giving and receiving is one of the themes of the Kama Sutra, then and now. Focus on that as you administer your touch.