There’s a tradition, and I like to think of it as Modern Tantra, because I think we’re living in the 21st Century, with new devices and gorgeous and incredible things that are around for us to play with as Tantric sexual creatures, and being on that journey means that we can bring in other toys and other sacred objects.
There are amazing glass lingams, or glass dildos that don’t necessarily look like a lingam, that can be used to create intense yoni pleasure.
They’re pleasure-full, because they’re such beautiful objects, that whoever is pleasuring her can derive pleasure from seeing her so pleased and feeling the beauty of this wand that’s made of glass with all kinds of beautiful and gorgeous things woven and blown inside it.
Also sometimes it’s fun to play with beads and other things that can go inside the yoni and then be pulled out for other kinds of sensations, so anything that can awaken and pleasure the lingam and the yoni is part of great Tantric sex.
Then, how we sustain orgasm in women is about focusing on the Pearl. Now remember: the pearl is the sacred spot on the yoni, the clitoris. So the Pearl is where she can receive constant or continual, or intermittent touch to sustain her orgasm to “forever.” Even if she’s had an orgasm, direct or indirect Pearl touch is how women keep “rounding” and keep having more and more orgasms.
Tantric sex is not linear, it’s undulating, it’s riding a wave and a curve, and there will be times when you go up on that wave and come back to the shore, ride another wave and come back to the shore, and there will be times where there is stillness and nothing is happening, but if you can connect with your energy exchange there’s always something happening.
Then, for him. Lots of time men are not aware how they can keep from having their orgasm and their ejaculatory release. For men it is a two-phased release. Orgasm in men begins as the discharge in blood flow and engorgement and energy. The second phase is ejaculation: the emission of the bodily fluids.
Many men who practice Tantric Sexuality are very skilled and masterful at orgasming and orgasming, and holding back ejaculation.
The technique that I want to reinforce for you, is the technique of your partner pushing where you, the male, feel that you’re on the edge and maybe you can’t hold back – ask your beloved to put her finger on your perineum – which is that ridge between the anal opening and the testicles that feels like a nose. By pressing there you are activating nerves that stop the urge to ejaculate, so pressing on the perineum is a technique that’s ancient for stopping the ejaculation.
There’s another sacred and ancient technique. It’s esoteric, so bear with me here. He can actually curl the tongue and place it on the roof of the mouth.
You can also use your own finger to touch your perineum, and by doing both at the same time, it is said in Tantric teaching that,
energetically, both the lock here and the lock here stop that urge and allow you to go and go and go!
Tantric sexuality can last for hours or for days! So you can get a sense that it’s a very different way of connecting through the body through what I call: the Spirit into Flesh. A closing ritual is the perfect way to seal your bond of intimate connection. Use candles, flowers, personally objects – whatever is meaningful for you to create a space of love.