Preparing your bedroom… preparing food… massage, and touch, and the senses… cooking together…and how about chocolate sauce? Anything that is playful, and that is like an art in any way, you can experience as part of The 64 Arts.
You might want to explore things like body paint. Or you might want to get a kit and play with henna tattoos on each other. Or maybe draw a little heart on your beloved, or write “I love you, darling” with a little paintbrush… anything like that.
Or play with the food. It’s okay to experiment with any of that. The goal is to have fun as you explore The 64 Arts as part of the prepa- ration for what else is to come. You can also literally play. Get one of the adult board games on the market that are meant to be used in the bedroom as part of your foreplay or as a way to spice up your relationship.
The instructions you’ll find on the game cards will be things like:
>>Using your mouth and tongue, orally delight three of your lover’s pleasure spots. Pleasure time is one minute for each pleasure spot. Total time… three minutes!
>> Use only your hands on any part of your lover’s body to give pleasure. No more than two minutes allowed!
>>Pleasure your lover erotically, from their inner thighs to their belly, with any part of your body. But do not touch their ultimate pleasure zone!
>>Tell your lover your thoughts about giving and receiving oral love. Only three sentences required!
>>Within the art of making love, using your hand to spank your lover is a way of stimulating and exciting sexually. Spanking must be done with love, sensitivity and awareness, never to hurt or scar. You can each take a turn, very lightly and lovingly spanking your lover’s buttocks so that it is pleasurable to them, not harmful. The lover being spanked directs the action by saying “softer,” “harder,” or “stop.” You must stop immediately if told. After you have each taken a turn, discuss the feelings and sensations you experience. Pleasure time: up to five minutes.
>> Try this Pleasure Position: Both lovers are on their sides facing each other. Her leg is over his hips, and his leg is over her other thigh. In this position, both of you provide the movement. Once you have joined together, slowly rock back and forth, using your arms to assist your movements. With your other arm and hand be affec- tionate with each other. Keep eye contact while you make love – a difficult position. Try it!
Let’s revisit playing with body paints and tattoos. Whether the paint is warm or cool, the feel of it is part of the sensation. Draw a red heart on your partner to symbolize your love… or a bright star as a sign that your lover is your shining star. Paint circles around the nipples… or beautiful swirled designs on the booty. If you’re ticklish, try to get beyond the tickle and be in the eroticism of the moment.
Experiment with body jewelry – it’s temporary and you can have a lot of fun with it.
Different signs, symbols, beads, or chains placed on different parts of the body can become part of your personal ritual.
Play with chocolate. Feed it to your partner. Drizzle them with syrup. Be creative with your designs, or start with a good old smiley face. Paint them with liquid chocolate and a brush… and then lick it off. Write “I love you.”
Some couples say the warm or cool feeling of the syrup is its own sensation to be savored. Have your partner tune in to the tempera- ture and try to visualize what you’re “painting” on them. Be playful. One woman said the ticklish feeling made her laugh, but not as hard as when she figured out that her partner was trying to paint a tennis match on her butt cheeks… and her crack was the net. When she rolled over, he painted sunglasses on her breasts. Now that’s sex-play!
Water
There’s something about water and what water does to us. Water in nature, and even water not in nature – just the natural element of water wherever it is – can open us up. It opens our senses and can make us feel playful, and connected.
Imagine sharing a shower with your partner – scrubbing, caress- ing, washing hair. Or being in a bathtub and honoring your partner with something as simple as taking their hand, or face, or foot, and bathing them… ceremoniously bathing your partner. In the silence, you’re able to say to your partner, through water, through that sensuality of being in it together, “I love you, honey.” Wouldn’t’ that be wonderful?
Sometimes the shower can be a real evocative place, especially when you take your time to scrub your partner’s body. Lather it with soap and bubbles, and brush against it, creating an exotic and erotic time and place from your shower.
To share the sensuality of water and let that stream pour over you can wake you up to what’s coming next.
Maybe it will feel a little ticklish to your partner – that’s okay. Ticklish can be an erotic sensation. Use products with an aroma you and your partner like – vanilla or lavender, for instance – and include your sense of smell in the experience.
Maybe you’ll decide to honor your partner while bathing together. You can take her feet in your hands, and slowly bathe them as if they were sacred objects. That’s another choice that gives you an intimate sense of connecting and allows you to experience the sensuality of water.
Perhaps you want to sprinkle flower petals in the water, or fill the bathroom with vases of blossoms in her favorite shade. The warmth of the bath, the sight of her favorite color, the smell of the flowers, and your caressing touch as you bathe part of her body… all these contribute to the experience of water opening us up.
Opening your senses, preparing your environment, the importance of nature and water, sensual touch and massage, and bringing spirituality into your lovemaking… all these wonderful teachings of the ancient Kama Sutra are gateways to great sex!